“Mirror, mirror on the wall…

…who’s the fairest of them all?”

If the Evil Queen had, after receiving the nefarious answer, switched back the creepy Mirror to the old-fashioned mirror; gazed at her beautiful self (Of course she was beautiful! Why else did you think she wanted to be the most beautiful?); laughed and returned to ruling the kingdom, it would have saved her from a lot of trouble. Say, for example, slipping and dying as an old hag.

On the other hand, imagine her shrewd self, successfully owning the politics, expanding the territories, maybe even finding a man worthy of love. Successful career, a good married life. Hell, she would have been a force to reckon! As for Snow-White, she might have taken care of the more humanitarian side of the Crown. Now would that not have made a better setup for a more modern retelling of the tale?

Anyway, to get back to the original line of thought. How many times have we (gender-neutral implication) emulated the Evil Queen? Quite often actually. Not that we would want to poison someone we are jealous of. In the sense that we look in the mirror, hoping to see something we would love completely and instead end up more critical than appreciative.

Oh! Don’t take this post as one which would tell you how to love yourself regardless of all the shortcomings. Oh no! Trust me, I am still navigating those canals. This post is just about being a normal human. How about we re-learn to respect ourselves with our shortcomings?

Respect? Not Love?

Naïve Human! Respect is deeper than Love!

‘I don’t agree with you , but I do respect you…’ and ‘I don’t agree with you but I love you…’

Which of these two sentences would not, in most likelihood, start House Wars III? Try it! You’ll get the answer! (Boy are you in for a Big Brother special! :wicked grin:)

So…brace yourselves for another five point special. By now, some of you might be wondering about it always being distributed in five points. What’s the deal with that? I have a weird obsession with odd numbers, especially counting in fives, that’s why.

Onward to the Famous Five (loved those as a kid! Julian…my first crush…) Points my worthy comrades!

1) Look in the mirror- Literally. Go in front of the mirror, stand before it and look at yourself. Take your time. Study what you see.

What would I gain from it? It’s not like I don’t look in the mirror!

Yeah! When you brush your teeth. Flattering!

Or when you are hurriedly setting your hair in place to scramble out the door. Charming really!

Or, if you are a parent, when your child has somehow managed to lick the mirror like their life depended on it. To clean. Nothing speaks more glamorous than that! #itssarcasmhere

Imagine seeing a scrumptious ice-cream ad. Recall how the sauce would roll off the smooth curves of the deliciously cold and sweet ice cream? How would you look at that? Look at yourself exactly like that. We’ll come to the flavor and the sauce and the toppings in the next point.

2) It’s OK if you don’t like it- Don’t like what you see? The scoop is your favorite vanilla but the sauce and toppings are not something you are a fan of? Don’t worry! Don’t feel guilty or dejected. It’s only human to not always be in the loving mode. It’s normal to not like a 100% of anything. The same way you might love your SO to bits and still not like those little parts of their personality. Problematic? No. Just Human. Self-love doesn’t have to translate to narcissism. It just needs to translate to self-care.

Don’t like those stretch marks? Can’t relate to the quotes that portray them as tiger stripes? Or that flab around the tummy? The not-so-shiny hair? Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Count me in.

You see, we all have flaws. Flaws make us imperfect. Imperfection makes us human. Hence proved (major math feels), what do you have to be in order to be humans?

Imperfect!

Great going! You caught the bull by the horns. Let’s now focus on calming it down.

Say to yourself: ‘I am human and I am imperfect and it is normal.’

What’s the next step you ask? Start investing time in yourself. Even if it is as trivial as going for a 10 minute walk. Exercise, eat well, sleep on time, wake up early, cut down on mindless screen time and read/listen/watch something which would enhance your knowledge, go for a trip, spend time with family, skype someone you have been meaning to talk to….self-care can have many forms. Sometimes its just staying in pajamas the whole day. Do it. You owe it to yourself to try to be your best to be healthy in body and mind. A healthy you will be a happy you. A rejuvenated you (emotionally/physically/spiritually) will be a sunshine you to all around. A confident you. An amazing you. The feel-good-about-myself you.

Try it!

3) Not everything has to be beautiful- Here’s an interesting conversation:

Person A: (sigh) ‘I have put on so much weight!’

Person B: ‘Oh honey!’ (honey-smothered tone) ‘Don’t worry! You’re still beautiful!’

Person A: (raising eyebrows) ‘I said I had put on weight. I never said I was not beautiful.’

Person B: (Either mouth-agape or mouth-shut. In short, no reply.)

See? My point?

Beauty is subjective. To each their own. Thin does not mean beautiful and fat does not mean ugly. Biologically, we all have fat. The ones who don’t, I am sorry to be concerned, but you might be having a health crisis.

Understand that everything does not have to be tagged as beautiful to be accepted or to be normal.

Why?

Because as I mentioned earlier, each has their own idea of beauty. Untainted, unchallenged by those of others.

I find the greenery of Yellowstone much more appealing than the red rocks of Arches. My friend is in love with Arches. Yellowstone doesn’t even make it to the first ten of her list. Is she wrong or am I?

Neither people!

We are both right from our unique perspectives. How can I then frown and declare that her version of beauty is far inferior to my own? I can’t. If I did, it would be extremely hypocritical of me.

People should treat themselves and others with kindness and empathy. No excuses. We all owe each other basic human decency. Period.

4) Instagrammed?- Here’s an unpopular opinion for which I might get a lot of flak.

It is well-written (read implied) into the job description of celebrities and Instagram influencers to look put-together and presentable. If they don’t, their career would most probably be in trouble.

Don’t unflatter yourself with the flattering pics of someone else. They’re people, trying to make a living. Be respectful, not resentful.

Honestly students, no one posts their uncomplimentary pics online. Generally I mean.

The pics where I am posing with a burger? Oh of course!

The one where I am spread like an anaconda in front of the screen, stuffing my face with fries and oreos? Ummm…too unflattering don’t you think?

5) Respect your body- Remember the time you wanted to collapse on the treadmill but your feet kept you going?

Or the time your eyes were drowsy but your mind searched the remotest knowledge from the dust of your memories during an exam?

Or the time your nose was stuffy with cold but your mouth took it upon itself to provide you with oxygen?

You have been with yourself through all the funky and monkey times. Why wouldn’t you respect yourself? Why? Why? Why?

If it were in respect to some other person, we would be chastising to no ends.

Say to yourself:

‘I love you.’

And mean it.

Not loving yourself would be the gravest mistake of your life buddy!

Additionally, enhance the skills that boost your confidence. (Not conning others). Skills that make you confident without harming others in even the tiniest of ways. Do that which gives you genuine happiness, even if it is talking to yourself. That’s quite important too, you know! Staying in touch with the one you are. Everyone has a different perception of you. Some descriptions might even take you by surprise. Stay in touch with yourself as you would with a loved one.

On a departing note, here’s another conversation.

Person A: ‘You should never ask someone their age.’

Person B: ‘Why?’

Person A: (Getting impatient) ‘Because they may be shy to declare how old they are! Would you like someone to ask you your age? Huh! Didn’t think so!

Person B: ‘You mean they’d be ashamed to declare their age? Why should someone be ashamed of something as natural as aging? Or grey hair? Or white beard? Or thinning hair? Or packing a few pounds now and then? Are you not promoting that aging is undesirable, unacceptable and disgusting? Are you not enabling low self-esteem and in turn implying that youth or youth-like are the only spectrums of life worth accepting and celebrating? Does that not make you, to put it respectfully, a body-shaming snob?’

Person A: (:blinks:)

Person B: ‘I’m 30 by the way.’

The End.